age

An elderly woman was driving her husband in the country when she was pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer stepped out of his car and quizzed the old woman. "Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?"
"What did he say?" said the woman to her husband. The husband shouted: "He says you were speeding." "May I see your licence?" said the officer.
"What did he say?" said the old woman.
"He wants to see your licence," shouted the husband.
She handed the officer her licence. The officer studied it carefully.
"I see you're from South Carolina," he said. "I spent some time there once, had
the worst sex with a woman I've ever had in my life.""What did he say?" said the old woman.
The husband yelled: "He thinks he knows you.

An elderly couple went to the doctor for their annual physicals. The old man went in first, and after he was finished, the doctor sent him back out to the waiting room and called in the old woman.
The doctor said: "Before I examine you, I'd like to talk about your husband for a moment. I'm a bit concerned about him. I asked him how he was feeling and he said he had never felt better. He said that when he got up this morning, he went to the bathroom, opened the door and God turned the light on for him. And when he was done, he shut the door and God turned the light out for him."
"Oh, no," sighed the wife. "He's been peeing in the fridge again."

 An old lady went to the doctor and asked for birth control pills. "Why do you want them at your age?" asked the doctor. "They help me sleep better," replied the old lady. "How come?"

"Well, doctor, I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice, and I sleep better at night."
 What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-yearold doesn't? - Her navel.

 An old man went to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor listened to his heart and pronounced: "I'm afraid you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke at all?"
"No."
"Do you drink to excess?"
"No."
"Do you still have a sex life?"
"Yes."
"Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you, that with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half of your sex life."
"Which half-the looking or the thinking?"

 

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