ANIMAL JOKES

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes? To carry his library card.

First Man: What's the difference between a lemon, a dinosaur and a tube of glue? Second Man: I give up. First Man: You can squeeze a lemon, but you can't squeeze a dinosaur. Second Man: What about the glue ? First Man: That's where you get stuck.

Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force? They can't hide behind billboards.

Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs? To give the ants a chance.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon? That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree? To get in his nest.

What weighs two pounds, is grey and flies? A two pound dinosaur bird.

Why do dinosaurs have long toenails on Friday? Because their manicurist doesn't come until Saturday.

What did the man say when he saw the dinosaurs coming down the path wearing sunglasses? Nothing! He didn't recognise them.

Why do dinosaurs have wrinkles in their knees? They stayed in the swimming pool too long.

Why do dinosaurs climb trees? There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur? Ask it a question. If he answers, it's a male; if she answers, it's female.

Why did the dinosaur fall out of a palm tree? A hippopotamus pushed him out.

Why do dinosaurs have flat feet? They don't wear sneakers.

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house? His tricycle will be parked outside.

Why did the dinosaur lie on his back in the water and stick his feet up? So you could tell he wasn't a bar of soap.

Why do dinosaurs wear glasses? To make sure they don't step on other dinosaurs.

What do you know when you see three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts? You need help. Whoever heard of three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

 

Short Jokes listed in alphabet order
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z