ANIMAL JOKES

On which day do lions eat people ? Chewsday !

Why did the lion feel sick after he'd eaten the priest ? Because it's hard to keep a good man down !

What did the lioness say to the cub chasing a hunter ? 'Stop playing with your food.'

What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !

What happens when a lion runs into an express train at the station ? It's the end of the lion !

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station ? Because it's a 'mane-lion' station !

What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !

How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !

What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ? He had to get a new goat !

Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !

What do tigers sing at Christmas ? 'Jungle bells, jungle bells ...'

Which big cat should you never play cards with ? A cheetah !

What is the fiercest flower in the garden ? The tiger lily !

What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister ? An aunt-eater !

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater ? 'Claws.'

 

Short Jokes listed in alphabet order
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z