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Animals
Two lions were strolling down Broadway.
One turned to the other and said: "Not
many people around today, are there?"
At two o'clock in the morning, two bats were hanging upside down in their
cave. The first bat turned to the other
and said: "How about getting some nice
tasty blood for a late-night snack?"
"Where are we gonna find blood at that
this time of night?" asked the other.
"All right," said the first, "I'll go
off by myself."
Half an hour later, the first bat
returned with blood dripping from his
mouth and
covering his body.
"Wow!" said the second bat. "Where did
you get all that blood?" "See that tree
over there?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I didn't!"
A man just back from an African safari was relating his adventures to a
friend. "It was quite a trip, I can tell
you. One day, I was out in the jungle
and I heard a noise. I turned round to
see this huge Iio^ -:- <_=e 7a- a7+o7 c
: i mar T
TV - just a few yards away. I froze for
seen: -3r 17 Tm im '
bounded after me. He was almost at my
st'~oui JIX_- Are' *e rias Mme n get
ahead. But within a matter of seconds, I
co-:c iaa ' mat 1 Mg to am a f my neck
again, but luckily just as he was about
to pours re siam a a m f the distance I
saw a house and ran for it as fast as
rrN iegs YmoM *ale um is 1 get close to
the house, the lion caught up again and
was airn= ora mp of we &I= ve slipped
for a third time. That enabled me to get
in the house and shm an air a the lion's
face."
"Wow! That's some story," said the
friend. "If I'd been in that situation„
I waid have shit my pants."
"What do you think the lion kept
slipping on?"
What's a zebra? - 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
A tiny turtle began to climb a tree very slowly. Three hours later, it
reached the top, climbed on to an
outside branch, jumped into the air
waving its front legs and crashed to the
ground. Saved by its shell, the tiny
turtle started to climb the tree again.
Four hours later, it reached the top,
climbed on to a branch, jumped into the
air waving its front legs and crashed to
the ground. Undaunted, the tiny turtle
tried again. This time it took five
hours to climb to the top of the tree.
Once there, it stumbled on to an outside
branch, jumped into the air waving its
front legs and crashed to the ground. As
the tiny turtle dusted itself down for
yet another laborious ascent of the
tree, two birds were watching from
above. The female bird turned to the
male and said: "Darling, don't you think
it's time we told him he's adopted?"
Why did the monkey fallout of the tree? -Because he was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? - Because he was tied to
the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? - Peer pressure.
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - He was doing a monkey
impression.
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