[215] Mrs Bloom decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist: "I want .::e paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."
T,e artist replied: "But you're not wearing any of those things."
-1 know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. I'm certain he'll get married again right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery!"
[216] Two American ladies were in London admiring a well-endowed male statue. While discussing its artistic merits, one of the women shook her head and said: "I don't think so, dear. Big Ben's a clock."