Bible Jokes
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the
Bible?
A. Noah--he was floating his stock while
everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier
in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter--she went down to
the bank of the Nile and drew out a
little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he
got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in
the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the
Garden in a Fury.
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout
the land.
A. Honda... because the apostles were
all in one Accord.
A. 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in
service in a Volkswagen Beetle: We are
pressed in every way, but not cramped
beyond movement."
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the
Bible?
A. Samson--he brought the house down.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in
the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first,
Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel,
and the Prodigal Son came home. The
Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when
expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.
Q. What is one of the first things that
Adam and Eve did after they were kicked
out?
A. They really raised Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his
children as to why he no longer lived in
Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and
home.
Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and
the top story had a window to let Light
in, but how did they get light to the
bottom 2 stories?
A. They used floodlights.
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter
mentioned in the Bible?
A. David--he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when
David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his
head before.
Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you
like to tell him the joke about David
and Goliath?
A. No, he already fell for it once.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. What is the best way to get to
Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.
Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most
flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses, because he broke all 10
commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was
especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan--the banks
were always overflowing.
Q. How do we know that Job went to a
chiropractor?
A. Because in Job 16:12, 14, 16 we read,
"I had come to be at ease, But he
proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed
me by the back of the neck and proceeded
to smash me."
`Q. Where is the first tennis match
mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's
court.
Q: Which bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.
Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He only had two worms!
Q: How do we know that they played cards
in the ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.
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Short Jokes listed in alphabet
order |
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