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Bosses
[3621 Ar office manager had too much
drink at a party and embarrassed himself
in front of his boss. His wife told him
the awful truth the following morning.
"Your behaviour was appalling," she
said. "At one point you went up to your
boss and started jabbing him in the
stomach and verbally abusing him. You
were swearing like a trooper."
"Really?" said the husband, shocked.
"Yes," said the wife. "You really told
him what you thought of him. He was
furious."
"Well," said the husband, in a display
of bravado, "it serves him right. He's
an asshole. Piss on him!"
"You did," said the wife, "and he fired
you." "Well, screw him!"
"I did," said the wife. "You're back at
work on Monday."
[363] A man asked his boss for a raise.
"A raise?" thundered the boss. "Why
should you have a raise? You're never
here. Listen. There are 365 days in the
year - 366 this year because it's a Leap
Year. The working day is eight hours.
That's one third of the day, so in a
year that comes to 122 days. The office
is shut on Sundays so that's 52 off,
leaving 70. Then you have two weeks'
holiday - take off 14, which leaves 56.
Then there are four Bank Holidays, so if
you remove them, that leaves 52. The
office is closed on Saturdays. There are
52 Saturdays in a year, so you see, you
don't do anything at all!"
[3641 A young employee turned to his
colleague and said: "I feel like
punching the boss in the face again."
"Again? Did you say again?"
"Yeah, I felt like punching him in the
face once before."
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