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California
A fine place to live, if you happen to bean orange. [FRED ALLEN]
The Los Angeles Police Department, the FBI and the CIA were each
determined to prove that they were the
best at apprehending criminals. So the
President decided to set them a test. He
released a rabbit into the forest and
each organization had to catch it.
The CIA went in first. They placed
animal informants throughout the forest
and questioned all plant and mineral
witnesses. After three months of
extensive investigation, they concluded
that rabbits don't exist.
Next it was the FBI's turn. After two
weeks with no leads, they set fire to
the forest, killing everything in it,
including the rabbit. They remained
unrepentant for their actions,
maintaining that the rabbit had provoked
them.
Finally the LAPD went in. They came out
an hour and a half later with a badly
beaten bear. The bear was yelling: "OK.
OK. I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV
shows. [WOODY ALLEN]
Two die-hard Californians could only watch in embarrassment as a
torrential downpour hit Los Angeles.
Finally, after a long silence, one
turned to the other and said: "Boy, some
terrible weather certainly blows in from
Nevada, doesn't it?"
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