Cats
 A woman famous for her charitable work was granted three wishes by a fairy godmother. "My," she said, "I have everything I could possibly want in life. What more can I wish for?" Then she thought for a moment and said, "Well, I suppose a new living-room chair would be nice. I've had that one for 33 years."
Within seconds, the fairy godmother had delivered a new chair. "Now what about your second wish?"
"Well, if you insist, I suppose a new car would be nice to get me to church."
No sooner were the words spoken than a brand new car appeared on the drive. "And for your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother.
"Well, I suppose there's no point in having a new car without somebody to share it with. Could you possibly turn my loyal and loving cat into a handsome young man?"
Almost immediately, the cat was turned into a handsome hunk. The young man strolled over to the woman and said: "I bet you're sorry you had me neutered now."

 A ginger tomcat and a pretty tortoiseshell were courting in the back garden one night. The tom looked at her wistfully and purred: "I'd die for you?" She gazed back into his eyes and said: "How many times?"

 An old lady's two cats - a ginger tom and a pretty tortoiseshell - died within a few weeks of each other. She couldn't bear the thought of being without them, so she decided to take the bodies to a taxidermist and have them put on display in her living-room.
"These are my two cats," said the old lady. "They used to get on so well together."
"Ah, that's nice," said the taxidermist. "Tell me, do you want them mounted?" "No," replied the old lady. "Just holding hands."

 A man was driving along the road when a cat darted out in front of his car. Unable to stop in time, he ran over the cat and killed it. Feeling terribly guilty, he picked up the body and took it to the cat's owner - a little white-haired old lady.
"I'm really sorry," he said, "but I'm afraid I've run over your cat. I'd like to replace it.
"Sure," said the old lady. "How are you at catching mice?"

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