fishing
 Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other: "Can you drive this thing?"

 It was a bitterly cold winter day. A man went fishing and cut a hole in the ice, but didn't catch a thing. Then a young boy came along, cut a hole in the ice nearby and proceeded to catch fish after fish.
Eventually the man went over to the boy and said: "I've been here six hours and haven't caught one fish. Yet you've been here 45 minutes and you've caught at least ten. What's your secret?"
The boy replied: "Roo raf roo reep ra rurms rarm." "Sorry," said the man. "I didn't catch that." "Roo raf roo reep ra rurms rarm."
"I'm sorry. I can't understand a word you're saying."
The boy spat a wad of ugly brown slime into his hand and said: "You have to keep the worms warm!"

 A man was skulking around in his back garden digging a hole. His neighbour decided to investigate.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
The man replied: "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."
"That's an awfully big hole just for a goldfish, isn't it?" said the neighbour. The man shouted back: "That's because he's inside your cat."

 What do you call a fish without an eye? -A fsh.

How did they know the man eaten by a shark had dandruff? -They found his head and shoulders on the beach.

 Young Kenny burst into the house crying after a day out fishing with his dad. His mother asked him what was wrong.
The boy explained: "Dad and I were fishing and he hooked this giant fish, the biggest he'd ever seen. But while he was reeling it in, the line broke and the fish got away."
"Come on, Kenny," she said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident. You should have just laughed it off." "But that's just what I did, Mum."

 Why don't lobsters share? -They're shellfish.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?-Dam!

Short Jokes listed in alphabet order
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