Golf
 Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. [JACK BENNY]

 A young man went for a round of golf with a girl he liked from work. Beforehand, he slipped into the professional's shop and bought a couple of golf balls which he put in his pocket. When he met the girl on the first tee, she couldn't help noticing the bulge in his pocket.
"It's only golf balls," he explained.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied. "Is it something like tennis elbow?"

 "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100," puffed the rookie golfer as he thrashed away at the ball in deep rough. "Try heaven," advised his playing partner. "I think you've already moved enough earth."

 The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs. [HENNY YOUNGMAN]

 Phil and Dave went for a game of golf one Saturday afternoon, but Phil was under strict instructions from his wife to be back by four o'clock because she wanted him to take her shopping. Four o'clock passed, so did five o'clock and six o'clock. Eventually Phil arrived home at seven.
"Where on earth have you been?" she screamed.
"Honey," said Phil, "a terrible thing happened. We made it to the first green when Dave dropped dead of a heart attack."
The wife felt guilty. "That's awful," she said.
"You're telling me," said Phil. "The rest of the round it was hit the ball, drag Dave, hit the ball, drag Dave. .."

 

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