Hollywood
 A place where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors. [WALTER
WINCHELL]

 A Hollywood director was shooting a big budget movie on location in the desert. One day an old Indian came up to him and said: "Tomorrow rain." And sure enough the next day it rained. A few days later, the old Indian appeared on set again, sidled up to the director and said: "Tomorrow storm." And sure enough, the following day there was a fearful storm which brought a temporary halt to filming.
The director was hugely impressed by the old Indian's weather predictions and told his secretary to put the tribesman on the payroll. However, after a number of other successful forecasts, the Indian didn't show for three weeks. Then the director sent for him. The director said: "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow and I'm relying on you. What is the weather going to be like?"
The old Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know. Radio broken."

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
[GROUCHO MARX]

 Mickey Rooney was getting married for the eighth time. The registrar asked: "Have you been married before, sir, and if so, to whom?" "What is this?" said Rooney. "A memory test?"

 

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