Humor   A -Z

ART * 12

query an order," snapped the officer. "Do as you are told. Get me a ladle." A ladle was duly obtained. The officer dipped it into the cauldron, brought it out full, blew on the contents, swallowed them. His face changed. "Call that soup?" he demanded, fiercely. "N-n-no, sir," came the stammering reply, "it's the water we've just done the washing-up in."

55. A draftee on his way to training camp asked another draftee. "Do you happen to have a match?"

"Sure," was the second draftee's reply. "But I'm making sure not to give you any."

"But why?" was the startled query from the first recruit. "Well," said the second, "we'll get to. talking, and if we get to talking, we'll wind up as buddies. And if we're buddies, we'll get into the same tent and the same squad; then we'll both volunteer to go for special missions. Maybe we'll even get a dangerous night job; and we'll have to use flashlights. And if the flashlights should happen to go out some dark night in enemy territory, I sure don't want to be stranded with someone who doesn't even carry matches!"

Art

56. The newly rich woman was going through a "culture" routine and at this particular moment was standing in front of a painting at New York's famous Metropolitan Museum. It was a beautiful oil of a ragged but happy vagabond.

"Well!" exclaimed the woman indignantly. "How do you like that? Too broke to buy a decent suit of clothes, but he can afford to go out and get his portrait painted."

57. A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery recently. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye.

"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"