Humor   A -Z

B

17 * BALDNESS

into the dining room and excitedly announced: ''I'm sorry I was late, sir, but 1 was upstairs chasing a mouse from under 'our bed.'''

Backfire

78. A young man looking for a seat on a crowded train walked to the last car and cried in a loud voice: "All change here. This car isn't going."

With exclamations the passengers cleared the car, and the young man sat down, made himself comfortable and waited and waited.

Finally the station agent appeared. "You the smart young man who said this car wasn't going?"

"Yep," replied the clever one.

"Well," said the agent, "it isn't. You sounded so much like a director, they just uncoupled the car."

79. An Englishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman were left legacies by a friend on condition that each should put five pounds in his coffin.

The Englishman put in a five-pound note. The Welshman also put in five pounds which he had borrowed from the Englishman.

The Scotsman took out the two five-pound notes and put in a cheque for fifteen pounds, payable to bearer.

Three days later he was astonished to learn that the cheque had been presented and cashed. The undertaker was an Irishman.

Baldness

80. Small boy in barber's chair: "I want my hair cut like my daddy's-with a hole on top."

81. There are three ways in which a man can wear his hair: parted, unparted, departed.