Humor   A -Z

AGING * 4

"The witness will please state her age," he ordered, "after which she will be sworn in."

15. Conductor: "You will have to pay fare for that child, lady. He's over twelve."

Passenger: "How can he be over twelve when I've only been married ten years."

Conductor' "Lady, I just collect fares-not confessions."

16. A pretty girl came to a roulette table at Las Vegas with a $100 bill and explained to a group of gentlemen admirers that she could not decide which number to bet it on.

"Why don't you play it on your age?" one of the men suggested.

"That's a good idea-Ill do it," the girl said, and she placed the $100 on 22. The wheel spun and finally came to a stop at 28.

"Oh, no!!" the girl gasped and fell to the floor in a faint.

17 . "Your name, please?" asked the registration officer. "Matilda Brown," answered the woman.

"And your age?" he pursued.

"Have the Misses Hill next door, given you their ages?" she

asked, hesitantly.

"No," said the officer.

"Well, then, I'm the same age as they."

"That will do," said the officer. Then, proceeding to fill out the form, he wrote, "Matilda Brown, as old as the Hills."

Aging

18. You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so you don't have to go along.

19. A white-haired old man approached his doctor and said: "Doctor, I'm slowly going nuts over women. Is there any way to speed it up?"

20. Careful grooming and a smooth paint job will take 20