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Jewish jokes
Isaac Goldblum was sitting in a bar looking thoroughly miserable. After a
while the customer at the next table
said: "Excuse me, but you look really
depressed. What's the problem?"
"You may well ask," sighed Isaac. "I'll
tell you what the problem is. My mother
died in June and left me 10,000
dollars."
"Gee; that's tough," said the customer
sympathetically.
"Then in July," continued Isaac, "my
father died, leaving me 50,000 dollars."
"I'm real sorry to hear that," said the
customer. "Losing two parents in two
months - no wonder you're depressed."
"And last month," added Isaac, "my aunt
died and left me 15,000 dollars."
The customer shook his head in pity:
"How terrible! Three close family
members lost in three months!"
"Then this month," said Isaac.
"Nothing."
A Jewish gangster was dining at a kosher restaurant on New York's Lower
East Side when members of the mob burst
in and pumped him full of lead. He
managed to stagger out of the restaurant
and stumbled up the street to the
tenement block where his mother lived.
Clutching his bleeding stomach, he then
crawled up the flight of stairs and
banged on the door of his mother's
apartment, screaming, "Mama, Mama! Help
me, Mama!"
His mother opened the door, eyed him up
and down and said: "Bubeleh, come in.
First you eat, then you talk!"
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