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Jewish jokes
 Isaac Goldblum was sitting in a bar looking thoroughly miserable. After a while the customer at the next table said: "Excuse me, but you look really depressed. What's the problem?"
"You may well ask," sighed Isaac. "I'll tell you what the problem is. My mother died in June and left me 10,000 dollars."
"Gee; that's tough," said the customer sympathetically.
"Then in July," continued Isaac, "my father died, leaving me 50,000 dollars."
"I'm real sorry to hear that," said the customer. "Losing two parents in two
months - no wonder you're depressed."
"And last month," added Isaac, "my aunt died and left me 15,000 dollars."
The customer shook his head in pity: "How terrible! Three close family members lost in three months!"
"Then this month," said Isaac. "Nothing."

 A Jewish gangster was dining at a kosher restaurant on New York's Lower East Side when members of the mob burst in and pumped him full of lead. He managed to stagger out of the restaurant and stumbled up the street to the tenement block where his mother lived. Clutching his bleeding stomach, he then crawled up the flight of stairs and banged on the door of his mother's apartment, screaming, "Mama, Mama! Help me, Mama!"
His mother opened the door, eyed him up and down and said: "Bubeleh, come in. First you eat, then you talk!"

 

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