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Kid jokes
A
little girl walked daily to and from
school. Though the weather one
morning was questionable and clouds
were forming, she made her daily
trek to the elementary school.
As the day progressed, the winds
whipped up, along with thunder and
lightning. The mother of the little
girl was worried that her daughter
would be frightened as she walked
home from school, and she herself
feared that the electrical storm
might harm her child. Following the
roar of the thunder, lightning would
cut through the sky like a flaming
sword.
Being concerned, the mother got into
her car and drove along the route to
her child's school. Soon she saw her
daughter walking along, but at each
flash of lightning, the child would
stop, look and smile. One followed
another, each with the little girl
stopping, looking at the streak of
light and smiling.
Finally, the mother called her over
to the car and asked, "What are you
doing?"
The child answered, "God keeps
taking pictures of
Several
years ago, I returned home from
a trip just when a storm hit,
with crashing thunder and severe
lightning. As I came into my
bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my
two children in bed with my
wife, Patty, apparently scared
by the loud storm. I resigned
myself to sleep in the guest
bedroom that night.
The next day, I talked to the
children, and explained that it
was okay to sleep with mom when
the storm was bad, but when I
was expected home, please don't
sleep with mom that night. They
said, "Okay."
After my next trip several weeks
later, Patty and the children
picked me up in the terminal at
the appointed time. Since the
plane was late, everyone had
come into the terminal to wait
for my plane's arrival, along
with hundreds of other folks
waiting for their arriving
passengers.
As I entered the waiting area,
my son saw me, and came running
shouting, "Hi, Dad! I've got
some good news!"
As I waved back, I said loudly,
"What's the good news?"
"Nobody slept with mommy while
you were away this time!" Alex
shouted.
The airport became very quiet,
as everyone in the waiting area
looked at Alex, then turned to
me, and then searched the rest
of the area to see if they could
figure out exactly who his mom
was!
A man observed a woman in
the grocery store with a
three year old girl in her
basket. As they passed the
cookie section, the child
asked for cookies and her
mother told her "no." The
little girl immediately
began to whine and fuss, and
the mother said quietly,
"Now Ellen, we just have
half of the aisles left to
go through; don't be upset.
It won't be long."
He passed the Mother again
in the candy aisle. Of
course, the little girl
began to shout for candy.
When she was told she
couldn't have any, she began
to cry. The mother said,
"There, there, Ellen, don't
cry. Only two more aisles to
go, and then we'll be
checking out."
The man again happened to be
behind the pair at the
check-out, where the little
girl immediately began to
clamor for gum and burst
into a terrible tantrum upon
discovering there would be
no gum purchased today. The
mother patiently said,
"Ellen, we'll be through
this check out stand in five
minutes, and then you can go
home and have a nice nap."
The man followed them out to
the parking lot and stopped
the woman to compliment her.
"I couldn't help noticing
how patient you were with
little Ellen..."
Two babies were sitting in
their cribs, when one baby
shouted to the other, "Are
you a little girl or a
little boy?"
"I don't know," replied the
other baby giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't
know?" said the first baby.
"I mean I don't know how to
tell the difference," was
the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first
baby chuckling. "I'll climb
into your crib and find
out."
He carefully maneuvered
himself into the other
baby's crib, then quickly
disappeared beneath the
blankets. After a couple of
minutes, he resurfaced with
a big grin on his face.
"You're a little girl, and
I'm a little boy," he said
proudly.
"You're ever so clever,"
cooed the baby girl, "but
how can you tell?"
"It's quite easy really,"
replied the baby boy,
"you've got pink booties and
I've got blue ones!"
A little girl and a
little boy were at day
care one day. The girl
approaches the boy and
says, "Hey Stevie, wanna
play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do
you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I
want you to
communicate."
He says to her, "that
word is too big. I have
no idea what it means."
The little girl smirks
and says, "Perfect. You
can be the husband."
|
Short Jokes listed in alphabet
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