A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard.

'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'

50th birthday ideas

Some 50th birthday ideas.

1. A party of course!
2. A watch
3. A helicopter trip.
4. A weekend away
5. A spar visit.
6. Health farm.

50th birthday party ideas.

Fancy dress maybe makes it celebrities from the decade they were born in.

Theme from the 50’s dress up 50’s style with all the music from the 50’s.

What about a wine and dinner theme to the party?

50th birthday sayings and quotes

He is so old that his blood type was discontinued.

At twenty you have many desires which hide the truth, but beyond forty there are only real and fragile truths --your abilities and your failings.

 Gerard Depardieu

Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age.