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		Dumb And Dumber A painting contractor was discussing a job with a woman. In the first room she said she'd like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, 'Green side up.' In the second room she told the painter she'd like a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad and went to the window, opened it and yelled, 'Green side up.' In the third room she asked for a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled, 'Green side up.' The lady then asked him why he kept yelling green side up. 'I'm sorry,' came the reply, 'but I have a crew of blondes laying turf across the street.' "There was a middle-aged man called Steve who decided to return to college to pursue a degree. Not being sure of what he wanted to take, he began to look around campus at all the different colleges. He saw the college of physics, the college of sociology, the college of psychology and the college of assuming. Having never heard of a college of assuming, Steve was puzzled. While he stood there pondering what it was, the Dean of the college happened by and inquired if he could help. Steve replied, 'I've never heard of the college of assuming. What is it?' 'Well, I'm the Dean of the college. Here in the college of assuming, we take assumption to a new art form,' said the Dean. 'I still don't understand,' replied Steve. 'Let's try this. Can I assume you have a dog?' asked the Dean. 'Why, yes, I do have a dog,' replied Steve. 'And can I assume that you have a backyard for your dog to play in?' inquired the Dean. 'Why yes, I do have a backyard for my dog,' said Steve.' 'Okay, and can I further assume that because you have a backyard you also have a house?' said the Dean. 'Why yes, I do have a house,' said Steve, beginning to be amazed. 'Now, because you have a house and a dog, and a backyard, can I then assume that you have a wife?' said the Dean flatly. 'That's amazing! Yes, I do have a wife,' said Steve. 'Then because you have a wife, can I assume you are not gay?' inquired the Dean. 'No, I'm not gay,' replied Steve. 'There you see,' stated the Dean. 'From the simple fact of assuming you had a dog, I was able to assume you had a house with a backyard, a wife, and you are not gay.' Clearly amazed, Steve enrolled in the class of assumptions. One day about three weeks later, while waiting for class to start Steve saw a very puzzled man in the halls. 'Can I help you?' inquired Steve. 'Why yes,' replied the man. 'What is the college of assuming?' Delighted, Steve replied, 'The college of assuming takes assumption to a new art form.' 'I'm not sure I understand,' replied the man. 'Well, let me give you an example,' said Steve. 'Do you own a dog?' 'Well no,' replied the man. Steve quickly stepped back and said, 'You fag!'