Best  Funny Jokes

One day I'ma gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two piss is toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call ma sonna me bitch! Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say, peace on you. I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sam makes a confession to his wife. Sadie. the doctor says I've got disherpes: Sadie looks it up in her home medical dictionary. 'Sam, not to worry: she says. 'It says here that disherpes is a disease of the Gentiles: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Schwartz and Goldstein decide to set up business but are told they'll do better if they have less foreign-sounding names. Schwartz thinks about this for a long, long time and decides to go for Smith. Goldstein also goes for the name of Smith and they call their business Smrth & Smrth. First day. first phone call: 'May I speak to Mr Smrth: to which the receptionist replies, 'Which Mr Smrth do you want? Schwartz or Goldstein?' ------------------------------------------------------------------------