Camping Humor
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down
for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later,
Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of
stars."
"What does that tell you?", Holmes ask,
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it
tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I
observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce
that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and
that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I
suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why,
what does it tell YOU?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson,
you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."
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Traveling by Air
On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made
several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always
been occupied. The flight attendant noticed his predicament. "Sir,
she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch
any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the
buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by
letters: WW,WA,PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist. He pushed
WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice
feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like
this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm
air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this
stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his
bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable
pleasure. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender
loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he
couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme
ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his
eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.
"What happened?!" he exclaimed. "You pushed one too many buttons,"
replied the nurse. The last button marked ATR was an Automatic
Tampon Remover. Your privates are under your pillow."
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