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There was this guy who always went out drinking with
his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while
he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in
late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I
lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex
she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a
deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so
pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great
idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom,
gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash
up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home
so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that
we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is
sleeping in our bedroom."
Pussy Types
Expensive Pussy
Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive Pussy can be
recognized by the following - fur coats, $500 dresses, spandex,
bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on them. 98% of
good pussy falls into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking account
depletion. Often not worth it.
2.
Cheap Pussy
Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of yours who
will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap Pussy can be
recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner,
understands when you are broke, calls every day, wants it
constantly, easily hurt, but shake it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything
once and sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time,
can keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will
eventually want to get married and/or have children soon thus
ruining it. Often not worth it.
3. Hired
Pussy
Found in the Hollywood area of Southern California and in every
other large city in the US and abroad. Recognized by scanty clothes
and come-hither looks. Expense varies greatly with the quality. The
difference between Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy is that the money
is up-front.
Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your
girlfriend, doesn't care who you are or what you look like,
often very experienced, usually cheaper than Expensive Pussy.
Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Pussy in the long run,
risk of disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the risk
of jail time is high. Often not worth it.
4.
Virgin Pussy
This type is getting rarer each day. Recognized by conservative
clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty jokes and
porno movies. Can be very loving if you promise marriage, but will
cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration level is high
as Virgin Pussy tends to want to stay that way for some unknown
reason.
Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight
"fit" if it gives in, sometimes open to new experience, will
often offer "other" services if Virginity is to be maintained.
Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until marriage, will
cause discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not usually
into using birth control which can cause "accidents", can only
be used once. Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort
of thing.
5.
Nympho Pussy
Very rare. Recognized by the tendency to drag you by your balls
into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion Very
experienced, will teach you things you never knew. Expense varies
depending on level of Nymphomania.
Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything
once.
Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease
risk can be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can be
unstable, will not give a steady relationship. Often not worth
it.
6.
Frigid Pussy
Less rare. See (4) for recognition. Difference is that this
Pussy will not yield no matter what. Any expense involved is simply
wasted (unless you are into real frustration).
Advantages: There are no advantages.
Disadvantages: Too many to list here. Best to stay away once
recognized. Never worth it.
7.
Innocent Nympho Pussy
Rare. Recognized by being in a small, sweet, innocent package
which you would never in a million years think would give in, but
when it does, you are in for a hell of a surprise. Often mistaken
for (4). Expense varies, but usually falls into the cheaper
category.
Advantages: The surprise is blissful. Always worth it. Keep it
if you can.
Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious consequences
may result. May or may not be faithful.
8. Party
Pussy
Found at bars and at parties. Recognized by glass of wine in hand
and bloodshot eyes. Will engage in group festivities while
completely ripped. Expense usually covers drinks. Make sure you are
not ripped as to better enjoy the experience.
Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real unlucky. Be sure
to say the right things.
Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually remain
faithful, the Support System may tend to puke all over you.
Often not worth it.
9. Nutsy
Pussy
Support System has psychological problems. Recognized by the fact
that she will go out with you, then spill her problems on you. May
tend to kill you while you sleep. Gives in for no apparent reason..
Usually found as a quiet co-worker |
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