Inter sex A bloke goes into a bar carrying a small box. He asks the bartender. 'If I show you the neatest thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?' The bartender says. 'Sure, but I've got to warn you, I've seen a lot of things in my time.' 'Yeah, but you've never seen anything like this,' says the man, opening the box to reveal a tiny little person at a piano, jamming away. 'He plays Bach, he plays Stravinsky, he plays John Cage, he plays it all.' The bartender is mightily impressed. That is the neatest thing I've ever seen. Where did you get him? 'Well, I was walking on the beach, found this brass lamp and rubbed it. and a genie came out and granted me a wish.' 'Do you think I could have a wish, too?' the barman asks. 'Sure,' says the man, producing the lamp from his coat pocket. The bartender gives it a rub, the genie pops out and the bartender says, 'I want a million bucks.' POOF! The bar is full of ducks. They're flying around. They're crapping on everything. They're everywhere. The bartender screams at the man, 'Why didn't you tell me your genie was defective?' 'Yep, hard of hearing. I didn't ask for a 12-inch pianist, either.' A prostitute goes into a bar and spots a koala on a stool. They talk, they flirt, and the koala takes her home. After a night of passion the koala climbs out of bed and ambles towards the door. 'Where are you going?' yells the prostitute. 'I haven't been paid.' Suspecting that a koala mightn't understand the nature of her profession, she reaches for a dictionary and shows him the definition. 'Prostitute: n. a woman who performs sexual services for money.' Whereupon the koala grabs the dictionary and shows her a definition: 'Koala Bear: n. a furry marsupial. Eats bush and leaves.' Elvis, Liberace and John Belushi are sitting around in Heaven bored out of their heavenly lives. They go to Gabriel and ask if there's any way they can get out. Apprehensively he agrees to let them return to Earth for a short while, telling them that if they even think of committing a sin, they'll go straight to Hell. So, zap, they're on Hollywood Boulevard. As they're walking, Elvis sees a bar. He heads towards the door and the moment he touches it, poot! He's gone. The others realise that Gabriel was serious. A little while later John Belushi sees a little packet of white powder lying in the gutter. He thinks for a moment and bends over to pick it up. Po of! Liberace disappears. Why does Mike Tyson cry after sex? The mace.