LITTLE JOHNNY: THE MATH WHIZ
Little Johnny returned from
school and saying he got an 'F' in Math.
"Why?" asked his father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!", said his dad, upset at the injustice.
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad.
Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!"
LITTLE
JOHNNY: THE WEE CHARMER
A door-to-door salesman
comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, a beer
in one hand and a lit cigar in the other.
The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mommy home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the
hell do you think?"
LITTLE SON OF A BITCH
Little Johnny was doing his
math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son
of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is
nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are
you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."
" And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the
mother asked. "Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next
day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus
two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I
taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which
is four."
LITTLE JOHNNY
TELLS A STORY
Little Johnny sees his
father's car passing the playground and go
into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his
father and his aunt Jane "hugging" in the parked
vehicle.
Johnny finds this very exciting and can barely contain
himself so he runs home and starts to tell his mother,
"I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into
the woods with aunt Jane. I went to look for them and I
saw daddy giving aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped
her take off her shirt, then aunt Jane helped daddy take
his pants off, then aunt Jane lay down on the seat, then
daddy..."
At this point, Johnny's mother cut him off and said,
"Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you
save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the
look on daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Johnny's mother asks him to tell
his story, so Johnny starts to talk, describing the car
into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat,
and...
"...then daddy and aunt Jane did that same thing mommy
and uncle Richard used to do when daddy was in the
army."
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