Best  Funny Jokes

"There were two young brothers talking in their backyard waiting for their mother to make them lunch. One was four, the other three. FOUR: I'm getting pretty old now, I think I can start cussing. THREE: Oh yeah? FOUR: Yeah, I think I'm going to start saying damn whenever I feel like it. THREE: You know what? FOUR: What? THREE: I think I'm getting pretty old, I'm going to start cussing too. FOUR: Oh yeah? What are you going to say? THREE: I'm going to say arse. Their mother calls them in for lunch and asks the four-year-old. 'What do you want for lunch?' 'Oh damn, I think I'll have some spaghetti-o's: The mother was aghast. She took the four-year old by the ear to the bathroom, washed his mouth out with soap, spanked him and put him in his room and slammed the door. She retuned to the kitchen and asked the three-year-old, 'What do you want for lunch?' 'I don't know, Mom but you can bet your arse it won't be spaghetti-o's: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A bright, well-behaved little boy lived with his parents and grandparents in suburbia. One evening, the boy's father passed outside his bedroom window and was pleased to hear him kneeling beside his bed saying his prayers. He finished off with: God bless Mummy God bless Daddy God bless Grandma  ta ta Grandpa. The father thought this form of prayer a little strange, but was so pleased that his son was praying of his own accord that he thought nothing more of it Until, that is, Grandpa passed away with a stroke during the night. A few weeks later, he again overheard his son's prayers: God bless Mummy God bless Daddy Ta ta Grandma. Sure enough, the next morning they found the little boy's grandmother had had a heart attack in the middle of the night and passed away. Several weeks later the father overheard his son say: God bless Mummy Ta ta Daddy. The father was stricken with grief. What had he done to deserve such a short life! He was still in the prime of life. So great was his turmoil, that he didn't get a wink of sleep all night. He got up in the morning expecting disaster to strike at any time. He drove extra carefully to work that morning, and stayed in his office all day. On his return home, he poured out his worries to his wife. He'd had an awful day, grief-stricken, worried, and he just wanted to get it over with. But his wife had no time for him. 'You think you've had a bad day. I've been waiting for you to get back to help me out. I've had a terrible day today. I got up this morning and opened the front door to find the milkman lying dead on the porch , . .'

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