Online jokes   In an emergency, a jazz trumpeter was hired to play solos with a symphony orchestra. Everything was great through the first movement when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all. After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. She said, 'I looked in the score and it said 'tacit' so I took it: What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chainsaw? Vibrato, plus it's easier to improvise on a chainsaw. How do you know when a trombone player is at your door? The doorbell drags. What is a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't. What do you call a trombonist with a beeper? An optimist. What's the difference between a dead trombone player lying in the road and a dead squirrel lying in the road? The squirrel was on his way to a gig. What kind of calendar does a trombonist use for his gigs? Year-At-A-Glance. What's the difference between a French horn section and a '57 Chevy? You can tune a '57 Chevy.