Online jokes   If you· threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff. who would hit the ground first? The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions. Still. who cares. What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha? The lipstick. What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull? The jewellery. How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her. What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman? Stage makeup. What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra? One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile. How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead? The horses seem relieved. What's the first thing a soprano does in the morning? Gets up and goes home. What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche. Most musicians have never been in a Porsche. A jazz musician dies and goes to Heaven, where an angel takes him by the hand and says, 'Hey man, welcome! You've been elected to the Jazz All-stars  of Heaven - right up there with Satchmo, Miles, Django, all the greats. And we've got a gig tonight! Only one problem - God's girlfriend gets to sing.'