Online jokes    What happens if you play blues music backwards? Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison. What does it say on a blues singer's tombstone? I didn't wake up this morning. How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb? One, two, three. One, two, three ... Two musicians are driving down the road when they glance into the rear vision and, to their horror, see the Grim Reaper sitting in the back seat. He informs them that they've had an accident and have both died. But before he takes them off into Eternity, he'll grant each musician one last request something to remind them of their past life on Earth. The first says that he was a country and western musician and would like to hear eight choruses of 'Achy-Breaky Heart' as a last hurrah. The second musician says, 'I was a jazz musician ... kill me now.' What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra? The bull has the horns in front and the arsehole in the back A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. Which one do you run over first, and why? The conductor. Business before pleasure. Why are conductors' hearts so coveted for transplants? They've had so little use. What's the difference between a conductor and a sack of fertilizer? The sack What's the difference between a symphony conductor and Dr Scholl's Foot Pads? Dr Scholl's Foot Pads buck up the feet.