Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: She believed him.

Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS - if they don't get one, they die.

Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: They take off their makeup.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's whiteout on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the whiteout.

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, her knees bag.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for French fries.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K?
A: She changed all her y's to k's.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do you know if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a check book.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: How do you make blondes laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
A You shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: How does a blonde spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

Q: How does a blonde "high-5"?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.

Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Q: If you drop a blonde and a brunette from 100 ft, which hits the ground first?
A: The brunette, because the blonde has to ask directions on the way down.

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.

Q: What can save a dying blonde?
A: Hair transplants.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What do you call three blondes in a Volkswagen?
A: FARFROMTHINKEN

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: What do you call three blondes, sitting at a bar, singing, drinking Tab, and eating apples?
A: The moron Tab & apple choir.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: "Space. The final frontier......"

Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What is the difference between a dead blonde in the road, and a dead skunk in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm "sooo" drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

Q: What's a blonde behind the wheel?
A: Airbag.
Q: What's 2 blondes in a car?
A: Dual Airbags.

Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A You know they are out there but people have reported sighting UFO's

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: Why are the Japanese so smart?
A: No blondes.

Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!

Q: Why can't Blondes dial 911?
A: They can't find the 11 on the phone!

Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Q: Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q:Why did the blonde jump off the building?
A: She had just bought Always with wings.

Q: Why did the blonde keep putting quarters in the soda vending machine?
A: Because she thought she was winning.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.

Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to retrain them.
 

Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.

Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.

Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.

Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.