sex jokes
It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" promptly slamming the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."  

 QUICKIES: 1.The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you done? " 2.One sperm says to the other, "How far is it to the ovaries?" The other one says," Relax. We just passed the tonsils." 3.Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead? A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

WHEN IT COMES TO SEX: Landlords do it every 1st of the month. Mountain Climbers like to be on top. Pianists touch, tickle, and titillate! Pizza delivery men come in 30 minutes or it's free. Truckers do it in the road. Travel Agents do it in lots of different places. Waiters and waitresses do it for tips. Watch out for tennis players - love means nothing to them! Zoologists do it with animals.

 

The wife leaves, and the doctor starts right in. The doctor tries to get him to talk about his childhood, but it he soon starts talking about sex.

Next he tries to get Mr. Dillon to talk about his job, but once again, the talk turns to sex. The good doctor tries a variety of approaches:

Hobbies - "Sex!"

Sports - "Sex!"

Fishing - "Sex!"

Dreams - "Sex!"

He even tries the 'inkblot' test, but to no avail. - "Sex!"

At this, the doctor believes he has hit on something - That every subject has been too general; So he decides to show him pictures of specific things.

First, he shows him a picture of a car. - "Sex!"

Next, a picture of a boat. - "Sex!"

A house. - "Sex!"

A tree. - "Sex!"

At this point, the doctor has had enough. He shouts: "How can you think of sex when I show you a picture of a house!?! Or a tree!?! I can understand a car or a boat, But a house or a tree!?!?!"

Mr Dillon looks at him and says: "What are you yelling at me for, Doc - You're the one with all the dirty pictures!!!"