Sexist Jokes.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it's never used.

Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a bikini.

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two to show off and shake the stove.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do women have small feet?
So they can get close to the sink

: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A: Thanks Guys.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.

Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'

Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car?
A: Because she blows the horn!

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: Because she's been laid all over the country.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.

Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.