MORE sex
A man and a woman lived in a nursing
home and over a period of years became best friends.
They did everything together - they ate together, played
chess together, went for walks together. One night after
dinner the gentleman leaned over the table and said,
'Let's have sex together.' The woman protested that it
had been I 5 years since her last attempt. She wasn't
sure if she could. But after further consideration, she
decided that you only live once. 'What the heck.' she
told him. 'Meet me at my room at 9 tonight.'
Arriving all excited, he began to undress, but the woman
said there was something she had to say. 'I've lived a
full life and have no complaints. Please don't let what
I'm about to say make you think I don't want to do this,
but I feel I have to tell you this. I have acute
Angina.'
The old man reflected for a while, then continued to
undress himself. 'Well, that's good, because the rest of
you ain't so hot.' A couple from Fresno, a real hick
town, were on their honeymoon in a hotel. They were
getting ready to get to know each other in the biblical
sense when the wife looked over at her new husband and
said, 'I've never done this before. So please be
gentle.'
The husband got a scared look on his face and said,
'Wait a minute.' He ran outside to a phone booth where
he called his father. 'Dad, she's a virgin. What I do?'
'Come home, son. If she's not good enough for her
family, she's not good enough for our family.'
A very, very old man was staying at an expensive
hotel. As he walked through the lobby he saw a most
attractive older woman. Knowing that his life was short,
he decided to take a chance and proposition her. He
walked over and said, 'I have never done this before,
but I find you very attractive, and wonder if I paid you
$ I 000 would you come up to my room and have sex with
me?' The woman was surprised, but considering the man's
age, she figured that he'd
be quite harmless and unable to perform. So she agreed.
To her astonishment, the old man's performance truly
amazed her. He put everything he had into it.
As he paid her the $1000 he said, 'Had I known you were
a virgin, I would never have propositioned, you. Or I
would have offered you I
more money. The woman replied. 'That's okay. Had I
known you were able to get it up. I would have pulled my
pantyhose down.'
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