Lawyers
 A truck driver hated lawyers so much that if ever he saw any walking along the side of the road he would deliberately swerve his truck into them and run them down. The resounding THUD as truck hit lawyer made it all worthwhile.
One day the truck driver saw a priest hitchhiking by the side of the road. Always ready to offer a helping hand to a man of the cloth, the driver said: "Where are you going to, Father?"
"To St Matthew's Church eight miles along the road," replied the priest.
"Hop in," said the truck driver and he proceeded to set off in the direction of St Matthew's.
Half a mile on, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking along the side of the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. Then he remembered that he was carrying a priest in his truck, so at the last minute he swerved back into the centre of the road, narrowly missing the lawyer. But he still heard the THUD. Puzzled, he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father, I almost hit that lawyer."
"That's OK," replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"

 What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? - A start.

 A man was walking along the street when he noticed a bottle lying in the gutter. He picked up the bottle and decided to rub it for good luck. To his amazement, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie, "but I must warn you, there is a catch. For each wish I grant, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you ask for. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I think so," said the man.
"Right," said the genie. "What is your first wish?"
"My first wish," replied the man, "is for a Ferrari. I've always wanted a Ferrari." "Then you shall have a Ferrari," answered the genie, "and all the lawyers in the
world will be given two Ferraris. Now what is your second wish?"
"I could do with a million dollars," said the man.
"Very well," said the genie, "and you do realize that means that every lawyer in
the world will become 2 million dollars richer? Now what is your third wish?"
The man thought for a moment. "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney.'

 

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