Laziness
 A guy told the doctor that he could no longer do as much around the house as he used to. He didn't seem to have the energy for any chores. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and at the end the guy said: "OK, doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English, what's wrong with me?"
"Well," said the doctor, "in plain English, you're just lazy."
"OK," said the guy, "now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

 It was a balmy summer's afternoon and an old timer and his wife were sitting rocking on the porch at the side of their house when they heard a funeral procession pass by the front door.
"That'll be old Jerry's funeral," said the husband. "They reckon it's the biggest there's been round here for years."
"I'd like to have seen it," said the wife "Me too. After all, he was best man at our wedding." "That's right. Shame we ain't facin' that way!"

 It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. [JAMES THURBER]

 A city guy was touring the country when he came across an old farmer sitting on a tree stump and idly chewing a blade of grass. "How's things?" asked the tourist.
"Can't complain," said the farmer. "I had some trees to cut down, but a cyclone came along and spared me the trouble."
"Well, they say it's an ill wind."
"Then a lightning storm set fire to the brush pile and saved me the trouble of bumin' it."
"Another stroke of luck. What are you going to do next?"
"Oh, nothin' much. Just waitin' for an earthquake to come along and shake them potatoes out of the ground."

 The laziest guy in America was sitting with his friend in a bar one day. Both were too idle to find a job. Suddenly the friend turned to him and said: "I'm thinking of going to Australia. On the news it says that someone's discovered a diamond mine in the Outback where the precious stones sit all over the ground. All you have to do is bend down and pick them up."
The other guy looked at him and said: "Bend down?"

 A farmer had ten employees on his farm, and all were notoriously lazy. One morning, he decided to try and cure them of their idleness once and for all.
"Men," he said, "I have a nice, easy job for the laziest man on the farm. Will the laziest man step forward?"
Immediately nine of them stepped forward.
The farmer looked at the one man left behind and said: "Why didn't you step forward along with the others?"
"Too much trouble."

 

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