Parents
 Four guys were sitting in a bar when one got up to go to the toilet. In his absence, the other three started to talk about their sons.
The first said: "Mine was a big worry to me. I really didn't think he was ever going to make anything of himself. But I'm happy to say he's doing OK now. He owns a car dealership and just bought his best mate a new car."
The second said: "Mine was hopeless at school. He had failure written all over him. But he's pulled through. I'm real proud of him. He owns a bank and just gave his best friend a 1 million dollar savings bond."
The third said: "My son was bad at school too, but I'm glad to say he's doing fine now. He owns a pet shop and just gave his best pal a puppy."
Just then the fourth guy returned from the toilet. "We were talking about our sons," said the others.
"Mine was a real headache," said the fourth guy. "He's gay, but he's turned out OK. And he sure is popular. Just recently one of his boyfriends gave him a new car, another gave him a 1 million dollar savings bond and another gave him a puppy."

 A teenage girl was forced to stay at a friend's house overnight and called her mother first thing in the morning to let her know she was safe.
The words came out in a breathless torrent. "Mum, it's Caroline. I'm fine. I knew you'd be worried, but I didn't get a chance to call you last night. My car broke down and I had to stay at Moira's house, and by the time I got there it was gone midnight, so I knew you'd be asleep. Please don't be mad with me."
By now, the woman on the other end of the phone realized that the caller had got the wrong number. "I'm sorry," she said, "I don't have a daughter named Caroline."
"Gee, Mum, I didn't think you'd be this mad!"

 

 

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