A businessman booked a room in a hotel but was warned by the receptionist that the guest in the adjoining room was extremely nervous and had trouble getting to sleep at night. On reaching his room, the businessman was so exhausted after a long day that he thoughtlessly threw his shoe down very hard. He immediately remembered the nervous guest in the next room, so he laid the other shoe down very gently.
He went to bed but two hours later was woken by a knock at the door. He asked who it was, and a voice replied: "I'm the guest in the next room. For heaven's sake throw that other shoe down, will you?"

 Whenever you tell anyone you're an insomniac, you can guarantee what they'll say: "That's funny, because I'm asleep the moment my head hits the pillow." But when I meet a blind man, I don't say: "That's funny, because I can see perfectly." [DAVID BADDIELI

 A farmer slept peacefully night after night, week after week, even though at exactly seven minutes past three every morning a train passed by his house and blew its whistle long and loud. Then one night, the train was cancelled. At seven minutes past three the farmer sat bolt upright in bed and said: "What was that?"