JIM: Did you hear the one about the three
holes in the ground?
KIM: No.
JIM: Well, well, well.
KIM: Did you hear the one about the roof?
JIM: No.
KIM: It's over your head.
JIM: Did you hear the one about the cave?
KIM: No.
JIM: It's too deep for you.
KIM: Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell
out. Who was left?
JIM: Repeat.
KIM: Pete and Repeat were in a boat....
JIM: I ripped my shirt and my mom tried to
fix it. '
KIM: How'd she do?
JIM: Sew-sew.
KIM: Look, here are some smart pills. If you
eat them you get smarter. Try a couple.
JIM: Ugh! These aren't pills, they're lima beans!
KIM: See, you're getting smarter already!
JIM: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
KIM: I don't know.
JIM: So when they hide in the trees, they'll
look like cherries.
KIM: But nobody's ever seen an elephant in a
tree!
JIM: See, it works!
MOTHER: I'm going to the drugstore to buy
some toiletries.
JIM: Don't be silly, Mom. Toilets don't grow
on trees!
KIM: Doctor, last night I dreamed I was a te

pee. Then I had another dream where I
was a wigwam! What's wrong with me?
DOCTOR: You need to relax; you're two tents.
FIRST CANNIBAL: I don't like my mother-in-law.
SECOND CANNIBAL: Then just eat the vegetables.
WAITER: What'll you have?
KIM: Make me a sundae.
WAITER: Poof. You're a sundae.
KIM: No, really, I want a sundae.
WAITER: Sorry, we're out of sundaes, but I can
make you one Monday!

 

Short Jokes listed in alphabet order
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