Two women were walking in the woods one day when they came across a frog. "Please help me," cried the frog. "I'm a stockbroker, but because an evil witch put a curse on me, I've been turned into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state."
Hearing this, one of the women quickly stuffed the frog into her handbag.
"What are you doing?" asked her companion. "Didn't you hear what he said? If
you kiss him, he'll turn into a stockbroker."
"Sure," said the other woman, "but these days a talking frog is worth more than
a stockbroker."

 Who was the greatest financier that ever lived? - Noah, because he was able to float a company when the whole world was in liquidation.
(2468] A stockbroker was in hospital. The nurse was taking his temperature. "What is it now, nurse?" he asked.
"102."
"When it gets to 103, sell!"

 On the stock market today: Helium was up, feathers were down, paper was stationary, fluorescent tubes were down in light trading, knives were up sharply, pencils were down a few points, elevators were up and down, escalators experienced a slight decline, mining equipment hit rock bottom, sun peaked at midday, the market for raisins dried up, there was no move for artists' models, vacuum cleaners picked up, caravans were trailing, socks were unchanged, balloon prices were inflated, and the bottom fell out of disposable nappies.