Texas
 A Texan on a steamer trip along the Alaskan coast was boasting to locals about how the Lone Star State had the biggest and best of everything. Just then a huge iceberg came into view. The Texan was rendered speechless for a second. "Hell," he said, "I have to admit you've got bigger ice cubes."

 A Texan oil baron went to the dentist for a check-up. "I'm pleased to say your teeth are just fine," said the dentist. "I know," replied the oilman, "but drill anyway. I feel lucky.

A Texan was standing admiring the beauty of Niagara Falls when a New Yorker standing next to him said sarcastically: "I bet you don't have anything like this in Texas."
"No," said the Texan, "but we've got plumbers who could fix it!"

 If God had meant for Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white.

 A Texan tourist looked in awe at the London Eye millennium wheel.
"Wow," he said, "we have nothing so enormous back home."
His London host replied: "If you think that's big, wait till you see the size of the hamster!"

 A visitor to Texas inquired: "Does it ever rain here?"
The rancher replied: "Yes. Remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"
"You mean Noah's flood?"
"Yep. Well, we got about two and a half inches during that spell."

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