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Vacations
A man on vacation in North Africa ended up lost in the desert. The
temperature was over 100 degrees and he
was desperate for water. Through the
heat haze he was just able to make out a
tent in the distance. Somehow summoning
up extra strength, he staggered to the
tent where he was greeted by a Bedouin.
"Water," gasped the traveller. "I must
have water.""I'm sorry, sir," replied
the Bedouin, "I have no water, but would
you like to buy a tie?"
"A tie!" exclaimed the traveller as the
Bedouin produced an array of brightly
coloured silk ties. "You idiot! I don't
need a bloody tie. I need water."
"Well," said the Bedouin, "if you really
need water, there is another tent three
kilometres to the east. I do know that
they have water."
The weary traveller set off on his
lonely crawl across the desert. The
journey took him eight hours. Finally he
arrived at the second tent. A Bedouin in
a smart tuxedo was waiting at the
entrance.
"Can I help?" he asked.
"Water," gasped the traveller with one
last breath. "I must have water."
"Sorry, sir," replied the Bedouin. "You
can't come in without a tie." Parents
took their young son on vacation to a
nudist beach. After spending some time
happily digging in the sand, the boy ran
back to his mother and said: "Mum, I saw
ladies with bigger boobies than yours!"
His mother replied: "The bigger they
are, the dumber they are."
The boy went off to play again but a few
minutes later ran back to his mother.
"Mum, I saw men with dingers a lot
bigger than Daddy's."
His mother said: "The bigger they are,
the dumber they are."
The boy scampered off again but came
back a short while later. "Mum, I just
saw Dad talking to the dumbest lady I've
ever seen, and the more he talked, the
dumber and dumber he got!"
A couple from Seattle were
talking about their holiday to a friend.
"Sounds as if you had a great time in
California," said the friend, "but I
didn't know you were planning to take in
Florida as well."
"We weren't," said the wife, "but Ted
simply will not ask for directions."
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