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War
During the Second World War, German soldiers were looting French villages
of food, wine and women. In one village,
everyone fled in advance except for a
young man and his 90-year-old
grandmother who refused to be driven out
by the Germans. When the German tanks
rumbled into the near-deserted village,
the soldiers cornered the young man.
"Bring us food," they demanded.
"All I have left is half a loaf of
bread," said the young man.
"War is war," said the soldiers and they
forced him to hand over the last crumbs.
Then they shouted: "Bring us wine."
"All I have left is half a bottle," said
the young man.
"War is war," insisted the soldiers, and
they forced him to hand over the last
half
bottle of wine.
Then the soldiers shouted: "Bring us a
woman."
"But there is only one left in the
village," protested the young man. "War
is war," boomed the soldiers.
So he fetched his 90-year-old
grandmother. The German soldiers took
one look at her and said: "Er, maybe
we'll let you off this time." "No way,"
said Granny. "War is war." Sometimes
I think war is God's way of teaching us
geography. [PAUL RODRIGUEZ]
A British soldier serving
abroad was upset to receive a letter
from his girlfriend breaking off their
engagement and asking for her photo
back. So he collected a stack of
unwanted photos from the rest of the
regiment and sent them back to Britain
with a note saying: "Sorry, can't
remember which one is you - please keep
your photo and return the others."
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