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Work
Near the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked the
confident young applicant: "What salary
are you looking for?"
"Something in the region of 90,000
dollars, depending on the benefits
package."
"Well, what would you say to a package
of six weeks' vacation plus 12 paid
holidays, full medical and dental, and a
new company car every year?"
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
"Certainly, but you started it!"
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near
the place. [STEVEN WRIGHT]
One by one the directors of a Chicago finance company were called in to
the chairman's office until only the
newest, most junior executive was left
sitting nervously outside. Finally it
was his turn to be summoned. He entered
the office to find the chairman and the
other eight directors seated solemnly
around a table.
Suddenly the chairman turned to the
young man and asked: "Have you ever
slept with Miss Foyt, my secretary?"
"No, certainly not."
"Are you absolutely sure?" persisted the
chairman. "Absolutely. I've never laid a
finger on her." "You'd swear to that on
the bible?"
"Yes, I swear I've never had a sexual
relationship with your secretary."
"Good. Then you can fire her."
] Employer. "In this job, we need
someone who is responsible."
Applicant "That's me. In my last job,
whenever anything went wrong, they said
I was responsible."
I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months
later you have to start all over again.
[JOAN RIVERS]
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