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Workplace Jokes
Things Not To Do at a Job Interview
We surveyed top personnel executives of
100 major American corporations
and asked for stories of unusual
behavior by job applicants. The
lowlights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to
fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she
could listen to me and the music at
the same time."
3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused
himself. Returned to office a few
minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's
resume to see if the personnel executive
was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch
and proceeded to eat a hamburger
and french fries in the interviewer's
office - wiping the ketchup on her
sleeve"
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, he
would demonstrate his loyalty by having
the corporate logo tattooed on his
forearm."
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist
for advice on answering specific
interview
questions."
8. "When I asked him about his hobbies,
he stood up and started tap dancing
around my office."
9 . "At the end of the interview, while
I stood there dumbstruck, went through
my purse, took out a brush, brushed his
hair, and left."
10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera
and snapped a flash picture of me.
Said he collected photos of everyone who
interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because
the position paid too much."
12. "While I was on a long-distance
phone call, the applicant took out a
copy of Penthouse, and looked through
the photos only, stopping longest at
the centerfold."
13. "During the interview, an alarm
clock went off from the candidate's
brief
case. He took it out, shut it off,
apologized and said he had to leave for
another interview."
14. "A telephone call came in for the
job applicant. It was from his wife.
His side of the conversation went like
this: "'Which company? When do
I start? What's the salary?' I said, 'I
assume you're not interested in
conducting the interview any further.'
He promptly responded, 'I am as
long as you'll pay me more.' I didn't
hire him, but later found out there
was no other job offer. It was a scam to
get a higher offer."
15. "His attaché [case] opened when he
picked it up and the contents
spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments
and assorted makeup and perfume."
16. "Candidate said he really didn't
want to get a job, but the unemployment
office needed proof that he was looking
for one."
17. "... asked who the lovely babe was,
pointing to the picture on my desk.
When I said it was my wife, he asked if
she was home now and wanted my
phone number. I called security."
18. "Pointing to a black case he carried
into my office, he said that if he
was not hired, the bomb would go off.
Disbelieving, I began to state why
he would never be hired and that I was
going to call the police. He then
reached down to the case, flipped a
switch and ran. No one was injured,
but I did need to get a new desk."
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